Gay Men Hating Other Gay Men

I stumbled upon this video while on Reddit. It was a very interesting video to me because I did agree with some of what was said, but there were also things that were said that challenged the way I thought about gender expression in the gay community. I’m not even sure how to respond to it because I’m so conflicted and not sure where I stand. I don’t feel that I am “hating” on others because of what I am not attracted to them, but it does feel sometimes that I am hating on the “archetype sort of gay”. And by archetype I mean stereotypical. Overall, I like what Ken and Cole had to say. In addition, one of the people in the video say that gay men tend to hate gay men, and what they mean is they hate a certain type of person. This is a point that makes me uncomfortable. In my head I say I don’t care, but it bothers me. I still to this day cannot figure out what is it that bothers me so much about that “type of person”.

Another person in the video said something that hit close to home in certain ways. They said that the only thing that binds us together as a community is our queerness (and of course the experience that comes with that), but not much else. And for the longest time I just haven’t been able to identify with the queer community. I can identify with my other identities but not with my queerness in the same way.

What are your reactions to this? I’m really curious.